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When the only thing "wrong" with you is that you were diagnosed with the wrong thing.

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Imagine having problems breathing as a teen. You see a doctor, you’re diagnosed with asthma, you’re given an Advair prescription and an inhaler and you’re good to go. Or, you’re supposed to be.  But imagine that the inhaler doesn’t work. Imagine that you still have trouble breathing, even when you use it as directed. You share your concerns with your doctor and they change your medication to Symbicort, then Albuterol, then Dulera. Over time, you start having to seek help for other problems, too – migraines, insomnia, memory loss, excessive fatigue. You’re easily irritable, so they think you might have a mood disorder; you have concentration issues, so they say you have ADHD. Neither Tylenol nor Ibuprofen helps the headaches; Melatonin, Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata won’t give you the rest you need. You’re advised to decrease stress, to change your diet, to cut caffeine. You take all the pills you’re given, as prescribed, and you continue to use your inhaler every day. But you ...
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What It's Really Like To Receive ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy)

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The first time a doctor asked me to try ECT, I thought he had lost his mind.  I had just been released from a long-term state facility and my transition back into the community wasn't going very well. I was sitting in a small room with an older male psychiatrist as we looked at the options on my fragile, falling plate. The day before, we had gone over a list of possible medications that could remedy my dysphoria. The problem? I had already tried and unsuccessfully taken every. single. one.  So, this psychiatrist looked at me, and he said: "Ms. Smith... have you ever considered ECT?" I remember giving him a double take, staring with my jaw dropping, half infuriated, half confused. Did this man really say what I think he just said? Is he sure he has a proper, present-day, authorized MD? But I did hear him right, because he just smiled and repeated himself calmly as a million nightmarish images ran through my head. Images of bright electrical shocks, ...
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A Visual and Auditory Simulation of Manic Depression

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Rather than telling you, let me show you.  For those who have never physically experienced the symptoms of a certain psychiatric disorder, it can be hard to understand exactly what living with that condition is like.  It can also be just as hard to explain that reality with words. So, rather than attempt to get a difficult concept across verbally, I've decided to use videography to try to get the message across instead.  If you wish to see the video, please make sure you have your volume turned all the way up. Captions are provided at the very beginning, but after a certain time - due to the nature and complexity of the video itself - the captions will end. The intent of this video is to bring to life the symptoms of racing/speeding thoughts, confusion, paranoia, rapid speech, irritability/agitation, sleep loss, "zombie-ness", hallucinations and mania-induced psychosis.  Here is the simulation:
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The Time I Was "Exorcised" Because Of My Mental Illness

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I had just dropped out of high school. I was on the brink of turning eighteen. A professional I was seeing at the time highly suggested I be sent to a "level 3 treatment facility". I was unaware, at the time, that a level 3 facility was actually just a group home for troubled kids. I agreed to go. I agreed because I thought that maybe it would help me. The idea sounded nice - this big, safe, medically structured building with nurses and doctors and counselors who would work with me and talk to me every day and cure me of the problems that I had.  I was young. I was only 17 - I can forgive myself for being so naive.  In my defense, though, how could anyone - how could even a grown adult - have known what I was stepping into when I walked up to that door? That plain brown door? That tiny house? See, it wasn't a big medical facility I was signing myself into. It wasn't a fancy nursing center or rehabilitation place or hospital or s...
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